I just watched an online lecture for a class about Stoic Philosophy (so credit for most of what I'm going to say goes to Dr. Hansten). Now, I'm not usually one to dwell on things like philosophy, but I think the Stoics have a lot of good ideas. I didn't even realize that I employ some of their tenets in my life, and now that I know more about this school of thought, I think I might try to consciously employ more of them.
Being a stoic thinker is being a realist. There are people out there who are jerks, and unpleasant things are going to happen sometimes, but the important thing is to realize in advance that you will encounter these things and these people. If you consider this ahead of time, when you encounter that rude driver, for instance, the expectation that he's going to cut you off will make it not as surprising or irritating when he does. Another stoic belief is that if something distresses you, it's not that thing itself, but your impression of it. You may not have control over what happens to you, but you do have control over how you deal with it. Don't turn adverse events into something negative; make the best of it. One example of a stoic is Phillip Verheyen who had to have his leg amputated in the 17th century. Instead of getting upset about it, he seized the opportunity and dissected his leg, becoming the man to name the Achilles tendon. This is an extreme example (and slightly gruesome for some, perhaps) but the message of turning adversity into advantage is a good one.
Another stoic belief is that the most important characteristic to have is virtue, or integrity. Being just, unselfish, truthful, and even-tempered should be not just something you do from time to time, but a habit. Stoics also believe in simplicity. The path to happiness is not through riches, but through integrity. Riches can bring temporary joy or happiness, but you get used to it pretty quickly and in the end are no happier than before. If fame or fortune does become a part of your life, though, it is important to maintain your humility. Furthermore, it is crucial to show equanimity (mental calmness and composure) in the face of adversity. For example, if someone has bad breath, it doesn't do much good to get angry about it, since it's so trivial. The quote that popped into my mind with this piece of stoic philosophy is from Bill Murray's speech in "Meatballs:" "It just doesn't matter!, It just doesn't matter!..."
Perhaps the most important stoic tenet is what they call the "sphere of choice." This is what you get when you divide the elements of life into things you can control and things you cannot. Focusing on that "sphere" of the things you can change is what will bring contentment to life. Since you can't change the past, it doesn't do you any good to agonize over mistakes you made. Simply learn from them and move on. To a true stoic, minor annoyances don't cause anger. Major setbacks might elicit the same emotional reaction as anyone, but over time, these principles can be applied to the problem so that rash emotions don't persist, but a positive spin on things can be maintained and equanimity is what prevails. Something more well-known that is completely in line with stoic thought is the serenity prayer:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
I think that the stoics have it right. There's no sense in wasting time on things that cannot be changed or getting upset over small annoyances. In most situations that seem undesirable at first, lessons can be learned or positive aspects can be extracted so that in the end, you're left with a sense of calmness and composure. I think that living life with all of these thoughts in mind will make you a happier person (and more pleasant to be around). Now I'm not advocating being optimistic to a sickening level, but just being realistic and not dwelling on the negatives. Who knew…? I'm a stoic and I didn't even know it…
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